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If you've lost that lovin' feeling, blame your neurochemistry.
Scientists have recently figured out why the sexual spark can go out;
the chemical signals which make people sexy to new partners, that
create that "love at first sight" feeling, only stay active for about
two years.
Your relationship isn't doomed, because that hormone is
replaced by oxytocin - the cuddle hormone - that gives you that warm,
fuzzy feeling you need to stay together for the long term.
But if you still want that lusty hormone fix, here's how to get it:
Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
"Put a ban on intercourse," says Debra Herbenick, a researcher at the
Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction at
Indiana University Bloomington. "What often happens in relationships is
that people start skipping over the fun parts and the foreplay. By
agreeing not to have sex, you take away the routine and might end up
restoring the excitement of what it felt like when your relationship
was new. Using this strategy, some couples who haven't had sex in 15
years have rekindled the romance in a matter of weeks."
Work Up a Sweat
When you and your lover first started dating, your brain was
pumping out phenylethylamine (PEA), which pretty much drove you
lovesick lustbunnies to chase each other 'round the bedroom. Now that
it's been replaced by a tamer brain chemical cocktail, get your PEA fix
in other ways. It's generated by exercise, for example, which may
explain why people who exercise regularly report being more sexually
active. (Plus, exercise acts as a stimulant, increasing blood flow and
raising the level of feel-good endorphins.) PEA is also released from
roses and lilies (reason enough to give her flowers, right?) and is
found in trace amounts in chocolates.
Have a Dangerous Liaison
Danger is a powerful aphrodisiac. In one famous experiment,
some men were told by a female assistant that they would have painful
electric shocks administered. Others were told they'd feel no pain. No
one, in fact, was shocked, but the men who anticipated the pain found
the female assistant much more attractive than those weren't scared.
Raise your adrenaline levels by adding risk to you sex life - visit a
risqué shop or get busy in a semi-public place.